Too sick for sarcasm.

It never fails. If I ever get sick, someone just has to "out-sick" me. This has been going on for years. Granted, I don't get sick very often. I have the immune system of horse, or so they say. But when I do, it's bad.

It all started last Saturday when I decided to mow the lawn. I was tired of waiting for Curtis to have time to do it. Usually I'm the resident lawn-mower anyways, but since I'm so pregnant and all (whatever), I try to let Curtis do more around the place. It makes him feel better and I get to lounge around guilt-free. Well, Saturday I couldn't stand looking out back at the jungle anymore so I fueled up the lawn mower and set out to tackle the beast.

As I mowed along I began to gasp and wheeze (only slightly). All of a sudden I breathed in...something...I don't really know what it was. I tried to cough it out but the stubborn thing wouldn't dislodge. "Probably a piece of bark or a blade of grass", I told myself. Then as I looked at the ground I realized that I was standing in an area rife with dog poop. Then I really started to cough and gasp and wheeze which turned to gagging. "Gross!!! I swallowed dog poop", I thought to myself. "Okay, let's be reasonable here (gag). It was a piece of bark (gag). You did not swallow dog (gag) poop", I reassured myself. I've been known to lie to myself before and was, understandably, a little distrustful. I quickly finished the job with more gagging as a companion.

For the next few days I tried not to think about it, but my esophagus just didn't feel the same. Then on Monday evening I started feeling that fluish feeling. Tuesday I started with a slight cough, but nothing major. By Wednesday I was starting to sound raspy and, in Curtis' words, sexy. But I felt awful. Even cancelled piano lesson, which I rarely do.

Nothing, not even the possible ingestion of dog poop, could keep me from watching American Idol Wednesday night, though.

Here's my new theory: All of Allison's rocker voters are now going to go for Adam, thus securing him the crown (heehee...crown).

Back to "The Illness": Last night we had committed ourselves to dancing at a luau that Pawranee was in charge of in our old ward (by golly, I miss those ladies. *sniff*). I dragged myself and the girls over there and was really glad I did. It was fun (illness and all). Sitting in the grass and trying to chant didn't do me any favors though, and today I have no voice (my kids better enjoy this rare yellingmomfree day).

Just when I though everyone would be taking care of me for a change, Grace woke up with pink eye this morning (thanks alot cousins!!!). We had cousins with pink eye over last week. Didn't know they had pink eye 'till they'd touched every Littlest Pet Shop, baby doll, and play food/dish in the house. I spent 2 hours Saturday night disinfecting everything. Alas, it was to no avail. Grace got it, and bad. So now I have to take care of someone else who is sick.

Drat! I can't even enjoy being sick.

*sigh* Motherhood.

I guess it's still better than the guy with his head stuck in the elephant's behind (see previous post). He'd better not breathe in.