When Will I Adjust?

When will I adjust to my kids being home ALL THE FLIPPIN' TIME!!!

When will I adjust to the thought of another person coming into this house?

When will I adjust to the heat?

When will I stop craving McDonald's Hot and Spicy Chicken Sandwiches?

And Panda Express' Orange Chicken?

And Jack in the Boxes' Egg Rolls?

Seriously, My clothes are getting a wee bit tight! And with a few weeks to go I don't want to buy any more clothes. I guess the joke about women in their ninth month wearing nothing but sweats and their husbands t-shirts are true. Except my husband's t-shirts are too small at this point! Oh, bother! Just shoot me now!

And the kids being here 24/7? It's really weird. I'm used to having quiet time every afternoon. There is no quiet time these days. It's party central with Grace and her poetry readings, dance performances and song dedications.

I did have one stroke of genius last week (probably caused by sleep deprivation). My kids are big "charts and lists" kids. If it's on a chart they'll do it. If it's written on a list, it's sacred and must be done!!! Okay, I'm a little like that, too. I like to make a list of things that need to be done around the house and then check off each entry as I accomplish it. I get a gratifying sense of accomplishment by doing this. But I digress. So last week I made a chart for the kids. It is "The Gardner Chart of Preventing Childhood Boredom--Join Now!!!". It is colorful and kid-friendly. It makes helping out your family sound like fun. And it feels like an exclusive club. And my kids LOVE IT!!! Never have you seen kids practice the piano like mine. Or do the dishes. They even went out and scooped dog-poop without being asked just so they could mark their chart. Each evening when I'm doing dinner I have kids asking me left and right if they can help just so they can mark their chart. It's amazing.

At first they asked me what their reward would be for doing all their duties. I told them, "Your reward will be the satisfaction of helping out your eternal family be happy and more loving to each other".

They seemed dubious at this thought, but the chart says that "all jobs and duties will be done with a smile!!!" And they are really smiling! Well, except for a little incident during poop-duty, between Hannah and Grace. But that was because of an accidental shovel-meets-wrist collision. They finished happily enough.

I don't know how long this Utopia will last. And I don't know where my real kids are, but if you see them, tell 'em they've been replaced.

So.

I put Adam's picture on the piano for Hannah's benefit. It took a couple of days for her to say anything about it. When she did, she said he was "creepin' her out staring at her while she practiced." That was it. No hysterics. No fits. No call for exorcism. It was kind of anti-climactic after all my planning and scheming. I'm going to have to step it up this week. Christin said she was going to apologize to Hannah but I said "NOT YET!" I still have more fun to have.

Happy Wednesday!!!